A Simple Secret to Success: Don’t Fear People

Deuteronomy 1:17

"Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God."

Fear a fist, but not a face! People are God’s gift to us. Fear of people weakens our ability to live productive lives.

Do you procrastinate making a phone call to someone you don’t know? Do you choose not to attend a function because you’ll have to meet new people? Does it stress you to connect with someone more powerful than you? Are you afraid to confront others?

All of these responses steal joy and opportunity from our lives. They can rob us of business opportunities, new friendships or even a potential life partner.

Fear of people can make it harder for you to love your neighbour. It can silence your witness. It can even make you prone to unhealthy favouritism. (Luke 12:4-12, James 2:1-13).

A simple secret to living a more productive and satisfying life is the internal decision not to fear people.  

It is important to cut this weakness out of your life. And the sooner the better. It will take some effort and some practice but it is worth it. Nothing is gained by fearing other people.

Here are two things to remember:

You are an equal with everyone. No one is better than you in God’s eyes. Regardless how much older, richer, more educated or more powerful they are, no one is more valuable than you. Even though we may have different statuses we are all brothers and sisters under God.

Moses drives this point home when he invites members of each tribe in Israel to become judges. The only reason a person can become a judge over others is that God gives them the office. So, respect the judge when she sits on the bench, but don't fear her when she comes to the Christmas party. And always pray that all our Judges will have the same steady resolve to "not be afraid of anyone" (Duet. 1:17; Rom. 13:1-5).

"Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." (Prov. 29:25) Bring God into every encounter with others. He is the only one you should fear.

Your fear is probably an illusion. There is no valid foundation for the anxiety you feel when you have to talk with someone powerful or impressive or unknown to you. That fear is probably coming from some unhealthy thinking inside you.

Perhaps you formed ideas in your childhood about big-people being scary. Maybe you tried to stand up once and got shot down. You might have been badly embarrassed or bullied or berated and you've decided (perhaps even subconsciously) not to get hurt again. Most people have vulnerability somewhere.

It's time to turn a corner. Push yourself to speak-up, to connect or to confront. Each successful engagement with another "scary" situation will make you stronger.

If someone is abusive or aggressive different strategies may be required. But, if the trouble is inside you, confront it and change it. You might even consider talking with a counsellor about these things if the problem seems deep.

Strategies for NOT fearing people

• Remind yourself that God made you both out of the same kind of clay. There are no platinum people.
• Rehearse what you will say. Picture yourself “looking good” and being in control.
• Remind yourself that this person is probably afraid of someone or something else that you are not afraid of. (Read the fears of 25 Celebs)
• Picture him or her as an equal. Every person was a child, eats food, has worries and needs and vulnerabilities.
• Talk to yourself. Choose confidence. Foster self respect.
• Put God first in everything.

Questions

• When or where are you most likely to fear people?
• Is there are particular type of person that intimidates you? Do you know why?
• What is potentially lost in your life by fearing people?
• Leave a comment.

Vengeance. Does God Have a Wart?

Numbers 31:1-7 

“The Lord said to Moses, “Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites … and they killed every man.”

I don’t know what to do with Numbers 31. It smells bad. I would like to put it out with the garbage. But here it is in the bible confronting me.

How are we to face this chapter (and others like it)?

My humanist friends say: “Toss your bible away”. Chapters like this, they argue, are like mouldy spots on bread. You wouldn’t eat festering bread, why would you swallow the ideas in this book. They would highlight verse 17 and a handful of others like it. I am embarrassed!

My biblicist friends say the opposite: “God said it, I believe it, that settles it.” Yes, but … I’m still having trouble. I feel unsettled, not settled.

Bible Scholar Raymond Brown says: “Rather than begin with an adverse judgment, we must patiently try … to understand precisely what it is saying to us in the early twenty first century.” Setting my problem aside (after wrestling very fairly with the issue), he explores some wonderful deeper insights in the passage. Themes of justice, holiness, obedience, promise, protection and uniqueness spill out like perfume. BUT, none of it abates the stink of verse 1. Sorry, I’m just saying. (Brown p266)

Calvin says: “When God’s judgements surpass our understanding, we should in sober humility give glory to his secret”. He reminds me that God is big and I am small, that I can understand neither justice nor judgement. He concludes: “People who seek to know more than is fitting, elevate themselves too high”. He's not wrong. (Brown p274)

My old Sunday School teacher said: “I don’t know.” To be honest I have never gotten a better response. I have read, written and preached more complex attempts, but never a more truthful answer.

There is much good in this cacophony of opinions. But there is no satisfying conclusion and I have nothing better to add. Except the important point that God is not the one with the problem, it's me. He is not asking for a defense, I am asking for an explanation.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I love God. I can give myself a pretty good lecture on God’s holy justice, his sovereign right to rule and his higher ways which are beyond finding out. But I still reject genocide, feel sick at the thought of male infanticide and am offended by the way this chapter addresses female virginity. I can’t reconcile it. And I don't like it.

The Wart

My mother has a small growth on her gentle radiant face. Only strangers and small children ever notice it. When my daughter was just a child, sitting nose-to-nose with her Grammie, she asked the obvious question, "But why is it there?". Mum replied, with sage wisdom: “Oh it’s just a part of me”. My daughter stared at it, touched it, puzzled over it and then looking again at Grammie’s whole smiling face, she forgot about it. It is still there. It is still part of her. There are probably dermatological and genetic reasons I am sure, but Mum’s answer is best.

Numbers 31 is a blemish, a wart. I ask God, “Why is it there?” But all I get in reply is, “It’s part of me”. That will have to be enough. And as long as I look at his face, his whole face – it is!

Questions

• How do you handle bible passages you don't understand?
• What other parts of the bible put light on this chapter?
• Leave a comment.

Suffering

Psalm 30:11 

“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sack cloth and clothed me with Joy.”

Nothing is more common than suffering. Nothing is less wanted either. We need the pain to stop. God promises to transform our pain and he also promises to walk with us until that happens.

Sometimes pain is productive. It brings an immediate reward, like the birth of a child. Such pain is more easily bearable.

At other times pain appears to be pointless. It has no apparent purpose. It gives nothing and seems to take everything. It is Job-like.

While there may be a deeper purpose in our pain this is of no real help while we suffer if we can’t see that purpose. The feelings of forsakenness often overwhelm us. (Ps 22:1)

The bible talks a lot about suffering. There is one constant message. God is there when you suffer and he WILL end your suffering. God will remove your sack cloth (a symbol of bitter mourning). He will end the wailing.

So how is one meant to live while we wait for that to happen? Here are four pre-dance promises from 1 Peter:

• Suffering is only for a little while. “For a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials” (1 Peter 1:6, 5:10; 2 Cor. 4:17; Rom. 8:18) Compared to the extent of God’s blessings and the depth of his restoration, the troubles we face just now are like a momentary inconvenience.
  
• God genuinely cares. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Even when you don’t feel his presence act in this way. Throw your troubles to God.
  
• You are not suffering alone. “The family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” (1 Peter 5:9) Pain can isolate you. Hurting people often feel unique. It is not true. Open up to others when you hurt. There is help.
  
• Jesus can teach you how to suffer well. “Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps.” (1 Peter 2:21) We celebrate the life of Jesus as a model for ethics. We acknowledge his death as an act of love that takes away our sins. Never forget that he is also the sympathetic saviour who teaches us how to suffer.

Christians are not protected from suffering. In fact we are thrust into it. Christians are instructed to take up crosses. We are invited to join the battle. (Mk. 8:34; 2 Tim. 2:3) We are called to suffer with other people and to confront injustice in this world. We are meant to enter the world's pain for the sake of its hope. But with this we are promised so much more.

Here is the blunt advice of Jesus and Paul:

• Jesus “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
• Paul “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” (Acts 14:22)

Suffering is inevitable. But take heart! Rejoice even! It will soon be time to dance. God has overcome the world. Jesus’ Kingdom is approaching. It’s soon time to trade your sack cloth and ashes for Joy and laughter. It is nearly time to dance!

Alice, Elvis, Rambo and Temptation

1 Corinthians 10:13

“God … will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear … he will also provide a way out.”

Face your next temptation with these two assumptions: (1) You CAN bear it and (2) there IS a way out. Temptation seems by nature to deny these two claims. Ignore that feeling and embrace the promises.

Bearing Up Under Temptation

Good news! There are no destruction-guaranteed arrows of temptation. God doesn’t allow them. There are only life wrecking choices in the face of genuinely bearable temptations. The devil didn’t make us do it, nor did God, we did it ourselves.

Temptation never singles anyone out for a special attack that is uncommon to other people. When temptation seizes any of us it is the same sort of thing that grabs hold of people in the next room, next village and next Nation. The pressure to do wrong is universal and common but never irresistible.

So, we can help each other. Just telling someone else what you are facing is the beginning of bearing up. Our stories all have the same plot line, just different details. Alcoholics Anonymous understands this very well. That is why they make a confession and tell a story. Lives are changed. It works!

When the temptation comes, ring a mate. Ask for help. Be with others until you find a way out.

Finding the Way Out

When the pressure to do wrong seizes you, go for the exit. God always provides one. Why then do we often feel like there is no way out? Why does temptation seem unbeatable? One reason is we look for the wrong kind of door.

Some want Alice, a magic door in Wonderland. They want God to make an easy escape appear whenever they need it. If no door materialises they become disillusioned and quickly give in. But there are no enchanted exits in this real world of temptation.

Some want Elvis, a quick back-stage exit. Can’t God just make it easy for me to walk out the back door untouched by this pressure to fail him? Just an announcement: “Allan has left the building” leaving temptation in the lurch.

Some want Rambo, a guns-a-blazin' rescue effort. If God would just burst in at my weak moment, stomp on temptation’s head and fly me out of trouble to safety.

God’s way out is none of these. It requires changed behavioural patterns. Old habits need to be replaced with new healthy ones; a troublesome location needs to be avoided; and bad influences need to be removed. A new positive aspiration needs to displace the old self destructive routines.

These “ways out” require thought and planning. Instead of waiting for Alice, Elvis or Rambo, perhaps we need to look for God’s Stewards. At the beginning of every flight the airplane crew instruct us to note the exits and plan our “way out” in case of an emergency. 

The air disaster is unlikely. Temptation is certain. Why not prepare? Get a counsellor, a pastor or a mate to help you identify your escape in the likely event of temptation. 

Do you know the exit nearest you?

Questions

• Do you have an exit strategy for your most frequent temptations?
• Do you have people to call on when your need help to bear up?
• Leave a comment.

The Power of Elastic Christianity

1 Corinthians 9:22

“I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”

One size rarely fits all. Each person needs something different. And if you are attentive to this, you will have great power of influence and wide opportunities to serve God.

Marketers, retailers and educators all understand this. Churches often do not. Narrow Christians can be down right obnoxious with inflexibility. But the story of the early followers of Jesus is different.

John talked about “love” constantly and dogma only rarely. James talked about behaviour anchored in an experience of God’s living Word, not a book of rules. Peter wrote about learning to suffer, serve and die taking Jesus as our model. They all wrestled with ethics because their Christian faith was dynamic. They were elastic Christians.

Christianity is not a box that you put people in. It is not a factory production line. It is not a few dot points and a short prayer. It is important to remember that Jesus didn’t write a book. He lived a life and said “Follow me”. He died, rose, gave us his Spirit and said go make disciples of ME.

Why do people oppose Religious Education in schools in Victoria? Why does Bob Carr champion the separation of religion and state in NSW? Probably because they fear crusty inflexibility more than they value the Christian social contribution. Many people have experienced “Thou-Shalt-Not” versions of the faith from grumpy coots that would not bend. The result, their subjects broke! Such religion kills.

Paul is promoting something powerful. Constant change in his method. Flex in his strategy. Stretch in his diary, pocket book, traditions and ideology in order to embrace more and more of God’s work.

Christianity is a wardrobe not a uniform. It has the individuality of several billion designer pieces. Don’t try to dress your friends in your clothes! Let the master designer do it. His work is striking!

Of course there needs to be a fastening point. Elastic can’t stretch without it. Paul’s anchor was clear. “I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:2).

Paul’s passion was not to make everyone look like Paul. He wanted everyone to be like Jesus. He was willing to stretch this way (act thoroughly Jewish) than that was (be Greek) then some other way (become weak) in order to serve the people around him. He was not predictable. He was not rigid. He was elastic. (1Cor. 9:19-23)

Is this an easy way to live? Not really. It demands that you think more. It can put you in perplexing situations. It is messy and sometimes confusing. BUT, it serves people, it mirrors Jesus and it grows God’s Kingdom.

Paul’s bottom line: “I do all this for the sake of the gospel that I may share in its blessings.” 1 Cor. 9:23

Questions:

• How do you practice Paul's insights?
• What dangers do you see in this thinking? What opportunities?
• Leave a comment.

Good Anger, Bad Anger: 8 Tests

Numbers 20:10

Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring water out of this rock?” Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice …”

Moses was a hot-head. I am aware of at least eight times he responded in anger (see below)*. In the end it seems to have brought him unstuck. Anger certainly helped him to be a great leader but it also hurt his leadership.

There are two challenges with anger as I experience it. What fuels it and what comes of it? I think of it as anger inputs and outputs.

Anger Inputs. Anger can be wrong from the start. Sometimes the thing that makes me angry is not right. I might be thinking too much about myself or focused on something that is really small or just misinformed about what is truly the case. If I start wrong, the whole thing is wrong.

Here are four ways I try to test my anger inputs:

• My Mentor. Can I image Jesus getting angry about this? What would it look like if he did?
• Reversal. If the tables were turned, would I accept someone else being similarly angry with me?
• Power. Whose loss of power is at stake here? Mine, my group, my tradition? Or the underdog, the weak, and the needy?
• Self. Am I really just being selfish?

Anger Outputs. Anger can go wrong along the way. I might start out all right, but then anger makes me do something wrong. I over-react or I fail to read the situation correctly and take a bad action. I speak too quickly or too harshly. I act without love.

Four ways I try to test my anger outputs:

• Pause. Have I taken enough time for reflection between my angry impulse and my angry response?
• Feelings. Am I personally hurt? Is my thinking clouded by wounded emotions?
• Future. Will the action I am contemplating bring long term justice or injustice? For whom? At what cost?
• God. Will the action I am contemplating please God? Will it serve God’s Kingdom?

Good anger has both good inputs and good outputs. It has righteous reasons and results and therefore helps me live a more Godly life. Good anger is anger without sin, anger that is slow and anger that gives no ground to evil. (Eph. 4:26-27)

Moses' Anger

On most occasions Moses’ anger was good. It usually mirrored the hurts and hopes of God. When he stormed out of Pharaoh’s palace he was acting out the displeasure of God. And when he broke the Commandment Tablets in the presence of the golden calf he was displaying God’s heart (Ex. 11:8, 32:19).

But Moses crossed a line in the desert of Zin. He got frustrated and acted foolishly putting himself in the spotlight instead of God. He called the people “rebels” and then God declared him a rebel. Bad-anger cost Moses his ticket into the Promised Land (Numb. 20:10-12, 24; Deut. 32:51; Ps. 106:32-33).

Anger is a powerful emotion. It can do good, it can do bad. It can motivate God’s work or make us blind to it (Mk. 3:5, 11:12-19; Lk 15:28). If its input and output is righteous it can do an eternity of good. But if the reason and the result of anger is anything else – if it is really man’s anger – then expect only trouble (James 1:19-20).

Questions

• How do you control anger? How do you keep it righteous?
• Do you have a story of "good anger" serving a good purpose?

*Here are eight examples of Moses’ anger: He murders an Egyptian (Ex. 2); storms out of Pharaoh’s presence “hot with anger” (Ex. 11:8); goes off at the Israelites for not listening to his instructions (Ex. 11:8); smashes the stone tablets when he sees the golden calf (Ex. 32:19); gets angry about a failed tabernacle ritual and then changes his mind when he hears Aaron out (Lev. 10:16, 20); gets livid when his right to lead is unfairly challenged (Numb. 16:15); fumes at the army officers for not following orders (Numb. 31:14); gets annoyed at everyone’s grumbling and makes it personal losing privilege with God (Numb. 20:10-12).

Is Your Mirror Lying?

Number 13:32-33

“All the people we saw there are of great size ... we seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes and we looked the same to them.”

How do I see myself? How do I imagine others see me? Does it matter? 

These sound like psychology questions but in this context they are also theological questions. They are questions about trusting God. Questions Caleb learned to answer better than most people.

Moses sent twelve spies to investigate the Promised Land. Ten in the group returned depressed. They convinced nearly everyone that taking the Land God had promised them was actually impossible. Only Caleb and Joshua gave a positive report. And if you look closely they are the only ones with a healthy self understanding. (Read the whole story in Numb. 13:1-14:45)

All twelve saw the same thing with their physical eyes. But, the group of ten and the group of two saw different things with their hearts.

Ten focused on giants who would surely defeat them. And so they saw themselves as “grasshoppers” certain to be stepped on. Their mirrors told them to run away.

Two focused on a God who would deliver them. So when they looked in the mirror, they saw mighty men about to pummel the unprotected Anakites (giants). Their lives are an inspiration!

I want Caleb’s mirror. Four questions help me to see my life as he learned to see his.

Who’s Eyes am I looking through? There are three points of view for each spy in this story. (a) Israelite eyes, (b) Anakite eyes and (c) Divine eyes. Caleb was not interested in the first two perspectives. He was only interested in seeing the situation from God’s point of view. This changes everything.

My life is very different through God’s eyes. Your view of me is inadequate and I need to worry less about it. What I see is partial and I need perspective. Faith in God yield’s a much higher, wider and wiser view of my life. Who's eyes? God's eyes.

What Emotions Are in Me? Fear is a huge inhibitor. When angels turn up in the bible the first thing they usually say is “Don’t be afraid.” Caleb says it twice in his speech. (Numb 14:9) We need to call fear out, confront it and defuse it. When we see fear for what it is we are better placed to obey God.

I will confront my fear by naming it and then turning to God. The only “fear” that leads to wisdom is a fear of God. Fear of people, unknown adventures, personal failure, aging, losses or hurts will only cripple my life. What emotion? Trust in God.

What Conversation is in My Head? Caleb together with Joshua speaks positively. “We can certainly do it” he tells everyone. “The land is exceedingly good” they declare. “If God is pleased with us, he will … give it to us.” This is the talk of bold faith. It is anchored in God’s promise and a wonderful story of divine faithfulness.

Israel has taken a long walk to get to this moment. They left Egypt with a promise from God. As they travelled they saw God part the Red Sea and rain manna from heaven. Now they need to retell that story and shout their obedience to it. The best way to face fortified cities and very large enemies is to do so while talking about the power of God.

Ten of these spies have the wrong conversation in their heads. They aren't thinking about what God has done so they don't speak about what God could do. Caleb and Joshua are different!

I purpose to tell God’s story not mine. What conversation? God Can, God Will!

What Spirit Motivates Me? I want Caleb’s spirit. It was different from the others. He “followed God wholeheartedly”. (Numb. 14:24). From this inner strength he acted and spoke differently. He challenged popularity poles and stood against the crowd.

I will seek to be filled with God’s Holy Spirit, the very source of Caleb’s difference. I want to walk in step with the Spirit. What spirit? The Holy Spirit.

My Mirror

So, I keep working on my view of self. It is important that my mirror doesn't lie to me. When it does, I risk failing God. Good questions help me to see, feel, talk and respond from God’s perspective and not just my own.

Don’t call me a grasshopper. God is with me and I am much more than you can see.

Questions

• Do you agree that self-image is important in your walk of faith?
• What inhibits healthy self-image? What fosters a good self-image?
• How healthy is your self-image?

Leave a comment.