A Simple Secret to Success: Don’t Fear People

Deuteronomy 1:17

"Do not be afraid of anyone, for judgment belongs to God."

Fear a fist, but not a face! People are God’s gift to us. Fear of people weakens our ability to live productive lives.

Do you procrastinate making a phone call to someone you don’t know? Do you choose not to attend a function because you’ll have to meet new people? Does it stress you to connect with someone more powerful than you? Are you afraid to confront others?

All of these responses steal joy and opportunity from our lives. They can rob us of business opportunities, new friendships or even a potential life partner.

Fear of people can make it harder for you to love your neighbour. It can silence your witness. It can even make you prone to unhealthy favouritism. (Luke 12:4-12, James 2:1-13).

A simple secret to living a more productive and satisfying life is the internal decision not to fear people.  

It is important to cut this weakness out of your life. And the sooner the better. It will take some effort and some practice but it is worth it. Nothing is gained by fearing other people.

Here are two things to remember:

You are an equal with everyone. No one is better than you in God’s eyes. Regardless how much older, richer, more educated or more powerful they are, no one is more valuable than you. Even though we may have different statuses we are all brothers and sisters under God.

Moses drives this point home when he invites members of each tribe in Israel to become judges. The only reason a person can become a judge over others is that God gives them the office. So, respect the judge when she sits on the bench, but don't fear her when she comes to the Christmas party. And always pray that all our Judges will have the same steady resolve to "not be afraid of anyone" (Duet. 1:17; Rom. 13:1-5).

"Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." (Prov. 29:25) Bring God into every encounter with others. He is the only one you should fear.

Your fear is probably an illusion. There is no valid foundation for the anxiety you feel when you have to talk with someone powerful or impressive or unknown to you. That fear is probably coming from some unhealthy thinking inside you.

Perhaps you formed ideas in your childhood about big-people being scary. Maybe you tried to stand up once and got shot down. You might have been badly embarrassed or bullied or berated and you've decided (perhaps even subconsciously) not to get hurt again. Most people have vulnerability somewhere.

It's time to turn a corner. Push yourself to speak-up, to connect or to confront. Each successful engagement with another "scary" situation will make you stronger.

If someone is abusive or aggressive different strategies may be required. But, if the trouble is inside you, confront it and change it. You might even consider talking with a counsellor about these things if the problem seems deep.

Strategies for NOT fearing people

• Remind yourself that God made you both out of the same kind of clay. There are no platinum people.
• Rehearse what you will say. Picture yourself “looking good” and being in control.
• Remind yourself that this person is probably afraid of someone or something else that you are not afraid of. (Read the fears of 25 Celebs)
• Picture him or her as an equal. Every person was a child, eats food, has worries and needs and vulnerabilities.
• Talk to yourself. Choose confidence. Foster self respect.
• Put God first in everything.

Questions

• When or where are you most likely to fear people?
• Is there are particular type of person that intimidates you? Do you know why?
• What is potentially lost in your life by fearing people?
• Leave a comment.