Three Ways to Avoid Misspending Your Masculinity

I just learned a shocking stat. Every week a woman is murdered in Melbourne by her partner or ex-partner. Every week! 

Police Commissioner Ken Lay who reports the statistic says: "Our culture is heavy with warped and misspent masculinity." I fear he's right. 

Violence and family abuse is the extreme case but the problem exists in lesser shades of grey as well.

So how should I spend my masculinity anyway? Watching sport. Guzzling beer. Growing hair. Living hard. Having sex. All good in moderation. But surely that's not all there is. 

A bloke is built for more. You know this because you bristled when I added the word "moderation" to the list above containing "sex" and "sport". Guys don't want to slow down. We don't want to drive a Ferrari in the car park. We want some open road!

So, here's my odd prescription for spending masculinity. Take the three top "guy-insults" and live them LIKE A MAN. There's a gem of truth in each of these offences.

1. You're soft mate! Thanks, I'm trying my best. It's tough. Any brick wall can be hard on all sides. It takes character, strength and courage to cushion someone with your love. It takes a bold and powerful person to stand between injustice and someone who is vulnerable. Spend your masculinity cultivating a soft side that you can turn towards those who need a real man to protect and care for them. 

2. Ya' big loser! Great, that means someone else is the winner. If I can loose occasionally, say an argument with my kids or letting my wife choose the movie we watch, I can serve people. If someone else wins because I choose to lose, who's the man, eh?

3. You chicken! Yes I am. I cultivate important fears. I fear God (Prov. 1:7). I fear the one who can put me in hell (Lk 12:5). I fear the person I can be when I am not in control. What I don't fear is you, the names you call me or the harm you think you can cause me. 

So here's my daily masculinity expense sheet. Was I soft enough to cushion some one in need today? Did I lose so some else could win? Did I fear what should be feared and did I walk away from folly? Call me soft, call me loser, call me chicken ... call me a real man! 

I've got masculinity. It's an awesome gift, and I intend to spend it WELL! 

PS. If you lose your temper with women, you need help! Visit NewHope Counselling if you are in Melbourne or find a centre that offers men's support programs near you.

For another excellent speech by Police Commissioner Ken Lay given in Nov 2012, click here.