How to Talk to God When Life Stinks

Psalm 22:1, 2

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? … I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”

Psalm 22 is timeless. It always moves me. Today I am thinking of someone else’s pain as I read it. Someone who needs to find a way to talk to God right now when he least feels like doing so.

This whole psalm twitches with raw emotion. It contains a pattern for those who are disappointed with God and still dare to talk with him. Just reading it can be therapeutic. 

Here are my five rules for talking to God when life is really bad.

1. Put everything on the table. Don’t hold back on God. Don’t hide your real worries or mute your emotions. If you think God is unfair, say so. If you are angry, want revenge or wish you could just die, don’t pretend that you can hide this from God. Lament admits what is true even if it is dark. It is not wrong to confront God, but stop short of cursing him.

2. Hold onto God with both hands. Despite his open challenge to the Divine, David still refers to “My God”. He talks about praising God and makes plans to do so in the assembly. He acknowledges the faith of his ancestors and does not hesitate to address God directly. Job did the same thing. He refused to “curse God and die” as his wife suggested, instead he hung on tenaciously. Jacob wrestled with God’s messenger and would not let go. It bought him a life-long-limp and a place of honour with God. (Job 2:9,10; Gen 32:22-32)

3. State the faith baldly. Speak out what you have claimed to know. Your heart may not be in it. Your inner thoughts may be arguing with you. The evidence may even be stacked against your words. But, speak your faith out loud to God. Let the tension sit there. Don’t try to muster trust you don’t have. Don’t try to reconcile incongruities in your present experience. Just speak the ancient wisdom. If you believed it when times were good, then just say it to God when times are not good. Repeat the creed, even if you're not sure you can believe it today.

4. Stay with it. Lament takes time. Good grieving is slow. As you read Psalm 22 you get the sense that David worked on writing this. He crafted these words with care. Lamenting is like baking, it requires a lower temperature and a longer time. You can’t super charge the process by torching the ingredients. You only get ashes. And so it is with fast action anger towards God. You end up with nothing but spiritual ash. Lament needs to simmer on low heat for longer than is usually convenient. The result may surprise you. It may eventually add gourmet flavours to your spiritual life.

5. Make your requests boldly. Ask God to explain injustice. Ask him to rescue, vindicate, bless or answer you according to your need. Ask him as a really confident child would ask a truly loving parent. His answer is not as important as his solace. This will only make sense when you find it, so seek him …

One aspect of the Psalm I find interesting is its trajectory. It begins with a painful searching question: “My God, WHY?” It ends with a bold and confident shout: “He has done it!” If we practice these five rules of lament, I wager we will come out at the same point as David did.

Questions

• What are the dangers if we talk to God too honestly? Is there a line? Is there a danger in not saying enough to God?
• Have you ever prayed Psalm 22? Would you consider borrowing its language?  

Epilogue

This psalm is famous because Jesus quoted it on the cross (Mark 15:34). He expressed his anguish using the words “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” But the whole psalm is tightly linked with Jesus. It says “they pierce my hands and my feet” (vs. 16) and “they divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garments (vs. 18). It even speaks of people hurling insults and saying “He trusts in God, let the Lord rescue him” (vs. 8). Is it any wonder the early church valued this psalm richly? Jesus teaches us, better than anyone ever has, how to lament and what great victory to expect.